Monthly Archives: March 2014

Disabled… ?

The other day I came across a postcard for an art gallery featuring a painting that made me think, “Gosh, that’s sort of like what I’m doing. Maybe they would want to show my work.” Then upon reading the fine print, I saw that the gallery specializes in paintings by Developmentally Disabled children. (hmmm)

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Thoughts About Automatic Expressionism

I’ve often thought, “What am I saying?” “What are these new paintings about?” Seems I’m always getting more answers, so I’ll just start logging them. Here are a few recent ones:

1 — The paintings suggest our human efforts are clumsy compared to Nature’s…

2 — They are an expression of politically incorrect emotions…

3 — They express the unspoken Anguish of Humanity…

4 — They are vestiges of my still-suffering inner child…

5 — They are glimpses of my own repressed angst…

6 — They prove that beneath my thin facade of normalcy, I am quite mad… ?

7 — They hint that we all live with deeply repressed terror knowing we are essentially some kind of microbes clinging to a very small chunk of stone hurtling through the cosmos at dizzying speeds toward a completely unknown destination… quite possibly even on our way directly into the Black Hole that resides at the center of our Galaxy…

8 — They suggest that most humans are dehumanized (zombified?) as a result of their unwitting immersion in today’s media-deluged, material world/market society… or perhaps more to the point, we are not quite totally human anymore…

9 — I have the emotional maturity of a three-year-old…

10 — I am hypersensitive to all the challenges facing Humankind today…

11 — I am simply trying to balance extremes as I am a Hopeless Control Freak…

12 — Maybe they say to the viewer… be free… let it all out… release all that repressed anxiety… and howl to the bloody moon.

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The Gita

My whole life I’ve fought to achieve goals only to discover, once achieved, they were not satisfying… at least not for long. In the last few years, I’ve heard this mantra from all corners of the Universe: “Take action, but the results are none of your business.” What?! I’ve been puzzling over this for so long. I then discovered that this admonition comes from the ancient Sanskrit song, the “Bhagavad Gita” which Mahatma Gandhi summarized as meaning… “Engage in the battle of life. Fight the good fight, but detach from the fruits of your labors.” Again! I agonized over this… how do you fight for something, but not care if you win or not?  At last I read Laurence Boldt’s masterpiece: ZEN AND THE ART OF MAKING A LIVING. He said something that finally allowed me to understand. Hence my own interpretation of the Gita: 

ACHIEVING GOALS IS MEANINGLESS AS THEY ARE MERELY ILLUSIONS. FIGHTING FOR THE GOALS IS EVERYTHING, AS GROWTH & ADVENTURE—THE SOUL’S PRIMARY AIMS— ARE IN THE NEVER-ENDING BATTLE.

It’s similar to another saying we’ve all heard: “It’s the journey, not the destination.” I think it’s finally sunk in. At least I hope it has. At last I feel an inner peace, and more at ease. I can have more fun in life, and not take anything too seriously. If I ever forget, someone please remind me.

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